Onions and baked beans=tear gas

My mother's menu consisted of two choices:
Take it or leave it.
~~ Buddy Hackett

Flesh eating is excellent in moderation.
I bet if they made an ice cream with
beef chunks wrapped in leather, they'd
call it something like Triple Cow. "Can't a guy
sit in silence and enjoy his lunch without
someone shoving a basket in his face asking
for money? Man, I hate this church." I think
one reason they call
them "relaxed fit" jeans is
that "ass the size of Texas"
jeans would not sell very well. For some
reason I always confuse
the words "marinate" and "masturbate."
Maybe that's why nobody likes my cooking.
Enough cut and paste for today..